Dating after a divorce is a different beast than the dating you did in your teens and 20s. After a divorce, you might feel hesitant, picky or confused about your options. Or, you might just be unsure of how to meet people who are single and not crazy. It was easier in high school and college when you had a ready mix of similarly eligible options to choose from. And technology has dramatically changed the dating scene. Follow these suggestions to find yourself on the cyber-path to your next love.
Dating Apps and Sites
The world of dating websites and apps can be overwhelming, but there’s a few good ones you should plug into if you want a decent shot at not sitting home with your cats on a Friday night.
If you want to hook up with people nearby with mutual interests, Blendr (straight folks) or Grinder (gay/bi men) are good options. With these apps, you can meet someone new wherever you are, such as on a bus or at a football game. Match.comis still a favorite dating site, seeing as it's one of the most widely-used sites in the world. Build your profile by answering a variety of questions, and communicate anonymously through its special email network. Or, Plenty of Fish (POF) boasts 3 million users. And the best part is that, unlike other sites, POF is completely free. Take its chemistry test to be matched with other daters who are good fits for your emotional needs.
Now that you have signed up on a couple apps or sites, you need to think about building your profiles. Think of your profiles as your brand and marketing hook. Everything you say or don’t say is the image someone else is evaluating, often in just a few seconds or minutes. Once someone pings you to start chatting, your communication style and responsiveness continue to say a lot about you. Most importantly, don't act like someone you aren't because you are less likely to find a compatible match.
If you don’t know how to use Skype, now is the time to get cozy with online chat. Be prepared for texting and video calls being the norm before an in-person meeting. However, don’t linger in the land of texting and Facebook messaging too long. After a week or two, move to meeting in person. And, don’t be that person who texts 50 messages at 2 a.m. or who sends a text when you haven’t heard from your connection in an hour.
You also shouldn't stalk your potential suitors on Facebook or other anyone-can-be-a-detective websites. You don't want to spoil the fun of your first real date by already knowing the person’s favorite breakfast food, favorite childhood movie and first-grade teacher. Besides, Facebook can't tell you if someone is a serial killer or nutjob anyway. For that, you have to use your good old-fashioned intuition.
If you don’t have an up-to-date smartphone, acquiring one is a must for entering the dating scene with gusto. After all, you don’t want your phone to signal that you are a dinosaur or out of touch with the times. And newer phones have more capabilities, including memory for running apps, ability to take selfies and ability to video chat from anywhere.
The iPhone 6 is a great choice because it takes amazing photos and sends a signal that you keep up with the latest technology. And the App Store even has an app called Burner that lets you graciously leave bad dates with a phone number that can be burned afterward so that person can't find you again.