You Can Maintain an Amicable Relationship With Your Ex

Divorce is never easy, not for anyone. Not mom or dad and especially not the kids. Maintaining an amicable relationship is not only important for children and teens, but it's essential for keeping relationships healthy, no matter how you may feel about your ex. If you feel like you’ll never be able to maintain an amicable relationship, read on, and you might just learn something new.

Take "Me Time"

We already know that divorce is stressful, but there are ways, in addition to therapy or counseling, that you can calm your nerves and relax a bit: with me time. Taking care of yourself is always important, but it’s even more critical during a divorce. Remember to take a chance to see your friends, practice yoga, hit the gym or even take a weekend solo camping trip to clear your head and do something good for yourself. You might just be surprised by how much a little time to yourself can make the relationships in your life better.

Share Responsibilities

yesWhen it comes to taking care of the kids, there are many responsibilities involved. Some such duties include parent-teacher meetings, after-school recitals and sports games among other things. One parent should not bear the burden of all of these tasks. Consider keeping a shared digital calendar that includes all of the upcoming events, tasks and things-to-do. Both parents can stay involved by using a shared Apple calendar and checking it regularly via their iPad Pro or smartphone, selecting the events and dates that work best for their schedule. Apple's travel time feature can help manage the calendar chaos by automatically displaying the time it will take to travel between event locations.

Counseling

It may seem like too little too late; however, some counseling can provide both you and your ex the opportunity to hash out your problems and talk about the next steps, continuing your amicable relationship. When a marriage ends, it’s often emotionally traumatic for both parties involved and talking to a professional counseling can certainly help to ease the stress and pain that’s associated with a divorce. Feelings of guilt, depression and anxiety are not abnormal during and after a divorce, but by working with a therapist, divorcees can cope much better as a professional can offer an objective and rational perspective on the entire situation.

Don’t Play the Blame Game

Remember when your mother would always say "If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all." That old phrase still rings true today, and it’s important during a divorce. Try not to blame or degrade your ex in front of friends of the family, especially your kids. Kids are more in tune with the situation than you might think so be careful what you say about your ex in front of their little ears. After all, that is their parent. Biting your tongue from time-to-time can keep you from saying regrettable things. And if you’ve got something to get off of your chest, talk to your counselor.

Keep Communicating

Experts from Psychology Today recommend maintaining open communication with your ex, stating that regular and open communication is essential to parenting after a divorce. Without communication emails, phone calls and messages will just pile up, leaving a stockpile of concerns that can add to the stress. If it’s hard to talk with your ex, consider having a third party present.