Challenges in Modern Parenting
Dr. Kate Roberts suggests the following six ways parents can approach tech management with their children:
1. Parents need to recognize that whether it’s technology or other activities at their ex’s house that they find objectionable, they can’t control what happens when children are at their ex’s house. As difficult as this is, parents must accept this reality and learn to live with it. Parents need to hold to their standards and avoid judging an ex in front of their children.
2. Parents need to focus on what happens under their roof and avoid wavering. By keeping standards consistent, parents help their children to internalize them. For example, “When I go to mom’s house, technology doesn’t happen during certain times”.
3. Parents should be aware that children complain about having more tech time at the other house. Regardless, parents should be prepared to stand by their rules. Expect children to sneak around and even lie as part of getting used to different rules. Don’t react, set firm limits, and move through it until the children adjust to the different set of rules.
4. Parents should avoid conversations about why things happen with technology at one house and not the other. That’s a no-win topic. If asked, parents can respond by saying, “We don’t have the same rules on many issues.” It’s okay.
5. Parents can expect children to be amped up when they use tech for hours at an ex’s house and should allow time for children to calm down after returning home to their house. Parents should avoid criticizing revved up children and instead plan calming activities like a hot bath, a physical activity like a walk, a card game, reading together, or doing a puzzle together.
6. Parents need to believe that with support and patience, their children will adjust to different rules between houses even when inconsistencies exist between households, even for tech use.
One thing is for certain: technology use and overuse in children is here to stay. In addition, co-parenting between mom and dad will continue as divorce happens. Addressing difficult parenting concerns together equates to better-adjusted children.
At Stange Law Firm, PC, we seek to uphold the law of “the best interests of the child.” As the usage of technology with children has become the norm, we believe that this is something that should be discussed with your attorney and possibly included in the parenting plan.
Source: 6 Ways to Manage Your Kids’ Technology Use Post-Split, Dr. Kate Roberts, Huffington Post Divorce
