But what if I don’t want the divorce?

Sometimes in a divorce case, not everyone in the party wants it. In some instances, one party very badly wants to save their marriage. Maybe they didn’t see it coming, or maybe they saw it coming but were convinced that it could be saved in the end.

No matter the situation, it brings the question: “What is a party to do?” Do they consent to a divorce because the other spouse doesn’t want to remain married? Or do they contest the divorce as a whole and hope that the judge denies the divorce and that the spouse changes their mind?

On one hand, if the court finds that the marriage is not “broken,” and there is no misconduct/cause, the judge has the authority to deny the divorce. But, it is very rare to have a judge deny a divorce. This is especially true when the parties are not engaging in sexual relations and are separated.

At the end of the day, an individual has to consider their desire to save the marriage versus the desire of the other party that wants to end it. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. If the party doesn’t want the divorce just give their spouse some space and some time, the other party may have a change of heart or decide that counseling may help in the marriage.

But in cases where that doesn’t happen, is it wise to contest the divorce and ask a judge to make a determination at trial about whether the marriage will be dissolved or not? In many cases, this is often an undesirable solution because a contested hearing (where allegations are aired in open court) is rarely a way to bring healing to a marriage.