Divorce FAQs: Multi-State Divorce Laws & Questions

Multi-State Divorce Lawyers & Attorneys Answering Some of the Top Questions Regarding Divorce

If you are like most people, you have neither planned nor prepared for divorce. Your lack of knowledge about the divorce process, combined with your emotional turmoil, could cause you to make poor decisions that can adversely affect your life for years.

Obtaining a divorce or dissolution of marriage can be an emotional experience. Still, an experienced family law attorney can advocate on your behalf and protect your interests and your family’s interests throughout each phase of the process. Individual states have complex divorce laws that detail the many requirements a person petitioning for divorce must meet before the divorce is granted:

• In each state, the parties must be state residents for the required time, separation or waiting periods must be met, and the court must find that there is no likelihood the marriage could be preserved. 
• If the marriage is not irretrievably broken and there is a reasonable likelihood it can be saved, a legal separation may be in order if you will not live with your spouse. However, there is a common misconception that legal separation is a more straightforward process than a divorce when, in fact, the process and cost are often very similar.

What is a divorce going to cost me? Can I afford it?

We work on an advanced fee (deposit) basis. With hourly billing, no lawyer can guarantee how long a case will last or give you a definite “cost” for your case. Many factors control your final cost, including the length of a case, the complexity of the case, opposing counsel, how cooperative the other side is, and whether one party wants to “win” rather than focus on resolving the case.

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Do I need to hire an attorney?

Many people resolve themselves to the idea that they can handle their divorce. However, if you were charged with a crime, you would likely hire a criminal attorney to protect yourself, right? You wouldn’t want to gamble with your freedom. Divorce is complicated, and navigating the legal system to obtain good or optimal results requires knowledge and experience. With your children, home, and financial security at stake, you do not want to use your situation as a learning experience. You also save yourself a lot of money in the long run when you have a divorce decree that is written clearly and helps avoid future disputes. At Stange Law Firm, we have the knowledge and experience to guide you and advise you through the hurdles that will inevitably come through your divorce.

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Do I have to prove my spouse is at fault?

The short answer is no. In most states, there is an option for a ‘no fault’ divorce. This means the marriage is irretrievably broken regardless of the actual cause. This allows the parties to focus on restarting their lives and, if there are children, on their best interests rather than rehashing past behaviors.

However, if there are serious issues, you can also allege other grounds for divorce, including physical/emotional abuse, abandonment, drug abuse, etc. In some states, these issues may be relevant in dividing property, deciding who gets custody of the children, and spousal maintenance. However, in some states, it is not a factor related to marital property, debt division, and spousal maintenance.  However, as to custody and/or parenting time, conduct may be relevant if it is in the children’s best interests.

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How can I protect my children?

The courts regard children as the highest priority. We protect children throughout the court proceedings and encourage our clients to do the same. DO NOT make your children a pawn in your divorce. Your children will suffer, and you will regret your behavior in the future, whether through your guilty conscience or a stringent court judgment. The children should not be brought into the proceedings. Messages should not be passed through the children. If your ex is late on child support, do not tell your child, “Tell Daddy/Mommy to pay me the money,” when you send your child for visitation. This confuses the child and makes them feel even more fragile than they already do as children of divorcing parents.

Our philosophy is to help you develop a new parenting relationship with your ex-spouse, so the focus is on the children’s future, not your past marriage. 

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What about child support?

Unless the parents have approximately equal custody time with the children, make roughly the same amount of money and/or agree that there should be no child support, one parent will likely pay child support to the other. The parent who does not have the children most of the time (also called the non-custodial parent) pays support to the custodial parent.  There is no presumption that the mother must be the custodial parent. The court determines custody by determining the arrangement in the children’s best interest.

Each state has a child support formula that presumptively determines child support. Talking with a lawyer about the variables in a specific state or case is essential. 

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Can I get maintenance? / Do I have to pay maintenance?

The only answer to this question is: It depends.

Maintenance (still called “alimony” in some states) ensures that each party can meet reasonable expenses post-divorce. There is no formula for maintenance in many states. The judge may decide based on the length of the marriage, work prospects for each party, the parties’ conduct, the spouse’s ability to pay maintenance, and a host of other factors. However, some states are starting to implement formulas for the amount and length of maintenance. Speaking with a lawyer about the facts of any specific case is vital. 

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How do I prove adultery?

Proving adultery is difficult. If you have incriminating emails or text messages, you must prove you did not obtain them illegally. Even if you are married, there are rules about privacy issues, even if a computer is in the same household. Talk with an attorney before retrieving any incriminating information to ensure your actions are legal and do not invade your spouse’s privacy.

Also, you may not record phone calls between your spouse and their accused lover and try to use this information in court.

There are legal ways to prove adultery. If adultery is an issue in your divorce, speak with an attorney. We will tell you whether or not the adultery is relevant to your case. If it is, we can advise you on obtaining the evidence to help you legally with your case. It can be costly to prove adultery, and unless you are at risk of paying a large amount of maintenance, it may not be worth it.  Please note that, in some states, the statute does not cite marital misconduct specifically in the statutory factors for division of marital property and spousal maintenance.

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Why does anyone use adultery as a ground for divorce if it can be so expensive?

Even though adultery is more common (or just more exposed) than it used to be, judges still do not look favorably on adultery. Some attorneys believe that proof of an affair may sway a judge to their point of view.

However, some angry spouses use the adultery claim as a way of attempting to achieve moral vindication. They feel that they will have some psychological satisfaction in proving that their husband/wife was unfaithful and that he/she was the cause of the end of the marriage. Rarely is this vindication worth the time and expense.

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When is my case going to be over?

It can be shorter, depending on the parties’ cooperation. It can be longer if emotions run high and pockets run deep. Even though a very long, expensive, drawn-out divorce is rarely necessary, it can and will happen if one or both parties are unreasonable. We aim to conclude each case through a negotiated settlement, if possible. This saves the clients a great deal of emotional and financial strain. Once the divorce is underway, the initial pleadings have been filed, and the parties have attended one or more settlement conferences, the high emotions have usually cooled somewhat, and the parties can focus on resolving their case as cost-effectively and quickly as possible.

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Do I have to go to court?

Not always. Typically, we have opportunities to come to partial or complete resolution in the settlement of contested issues. We can use mediation, settlement conferences, and other avenues to resolve a case without formal court proceedings. We have fully resolved some divorce cases in a short period.  Even if we cannot resolve the issues, we can settle most of them. In the small number of cases where there is no settlement of all issues, we can either go through a short or long trial. A trial can be over within a few hours, whereas a trial on more complex issues can go on for several days or longer.  The length of the case relates more to the ability of the parties to reach an agreement on all issues in their case.

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What if I am in the military?

We have represented military clients and their families serving in the U.S. and abroad. We have successfully settled cases for clients worldwide, without them having to enter a courtroom.

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The Right Solution for You

In representing you, we will work to obtain the best outcome for you and your children. We will discuss your situation, goals, and future plans. We will then strive to achieve these goals with the most appropriate legal strategy, whether litigation, a negotiated settlement, mediation, or collaborative law. When necessary, we are bold litigators who will use the court system to protect your rights and achieve your goals.

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What is Collaborative Family Law and Mediation?

Collaborative practice and mediation offer many parties other alternatives to try to settle their family law matters. Both processes are distinctively different, making it essential to understand the nuances. However, Stange Law Firm, PC has attorneys trained in collaborative family law and mediation. To read more about collaborative family law and mediation, follow the links below:

• Collaborative Family Law
• Mediation
• Collaborative Practice and Mediation
• Alternative Dispute Resolution in Family Law

Complex Property Division

The attorneys at Stange Law Firm have extensive experience in handling high-asset, complex, and difficult divorce cases. We watch the financial side of your marital estate with a keen eye toward achieving an equitable division of assets and marital property, including real estate, business interests, investment accounts, deferred income, and pensions. Our goal in your case will be to help you achieve the solution that enables you to move forward with your life from the strongest financial position.

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